And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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