# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
