he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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