this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
