so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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