im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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