Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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