Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
