He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize