He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
