Are we in a gay sports bar?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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