The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
