What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
