So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
