oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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