Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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