Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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