i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
