explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
