Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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