When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
