Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize