Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
my poor anus
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
