they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
