He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize