i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
