worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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