it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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