So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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