physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
