$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
