There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
