I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
