I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
