There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How external is "for external use only"?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
