i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
