its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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