It's Friday. Sex?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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