First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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