you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
