I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
