im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
