Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
