I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
