DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
