You really coming over, don't trick.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
