with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
