Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
