Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
