I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
