I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
