He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
