2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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