I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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