Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize