New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
