Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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