i would punch a child for taco bell
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
