I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
