You surviving the open bar?
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forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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