bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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