Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
